I’d bet you started your marriage with anticipation of all the great things that would happen as you built your new life together. As so many of us do. You knew you wouldn’t be like those other couples that bicker and get boring. It would be a life of fun with your best friend; a life-long adventure – together! 

Then somewhere along the way, reality set in. Things weren’t as lighthearted anymore. Conversations would go nowhere – or straight downhill. There’s no more easy laughter, no jokes …  or maybe you’ve become the butt of the joke. 

If you feel misunderstood and disconnected in marriage, then what? What can you do when you begin to feel like your spouse is more of an enemy than a teammate?  

I’ve been there, done that, and most certainly do not recommend. Being misunderstood doesn’t feel good, and it’s not what I hoped for in marriage. And the strangest thing happened – when I was feeling unseen and unheard in my marriage, turns out my husband was too. The misunderstanding went both ways. 

In the counseling room, we see some really common paths that lead to misunderstanding: 

• Assumptions
• Ineffective communication skills
• Unaddressed hurts and past issues 
• Mismatched conversation goals 
• And just plain bad timing 
• …Among others

When we look at the life of Jesus, we see that even in his divine perfection, he was often misunderstood. With that in mind, how could we, in all our human fallibility, expect to avoid misunderstanding? 

So take heart; you are not alone in this struggle. And take action if you are ready to work with one of our counselors to remedy these pitfalls of misunderstanding.