Recently Chrissy Teigen and Jon Legend shared photos of their devastating loss of their third child. She was reported to be about 5 or 6 months into this pregnancy. The sadness in these photos was palpable. This was hard to see and read about but necessary to bring awareness to something that happens to so many, but is not talked about. I am so glad they chose to share their sorrow and pain with the world.
1 in 4 mothers will lose a baby during delivery, pregnancy or thru miscarriage. 1 in 10 obstetricians will be so devastated after one stillborn delivery that they will question their career choice .
There is an unspoken grief to miscarriage and infant loss as well as infertility.
It is a club that no one ever wants to be a member of or thought they would have to be a part of.
In this segment i wanted to share a few not to do’s. And a few to do’s when someone has a pregnancy loss or loses an infant .
1. Don’t say “it was meant to be”..
2. Don’t say “God needed another angel”
3. Don’t say ” you can have another baby”
4. Don’t say ” I cant imagine how you feel or what you are going thru”
5. Don’t say ” God doesn’t make mistakes” or there was something wrong with the baby”
6. Don’t take a grieving persons behavior or words personally
Instead send a sweet card. Say the baby’s name often..Spend time with the grieving parents or short visits are good also. Take a meal or a gift card for a meal. Help the parents plan a remembrance service. Plant a tree or flower in remembrance of the baby.
Most of all parents just want to know they and their child are not forgotten.
If you or someone you know is experiencing the loss of a baby, we’re here to help. Our counselors at Agape Counseling are trained professionals, but more importantly, we care. To make an appointment, just call our office at 910-251-7789 or visit our Contact page.